It’s magical. It’s chaotic. The week after Thanksgiving and the week before the week before Christmas. Humans call it “the holiday season.” Cats call it “The Great Christmas Tree Climb.”
While you’re wandering around in a gravy-stained hoodie muttering about shopping lists, cats are silently judging every single life choice you’ve ever made.
Let’s take a look at how cats really handle this lawless stretch of time.
The Silent Protest Phase
This is when your cat relocates itself to the highest surface in your home and stares down at you like a tiny, furry HOA president.
You think:
“Aw, they’re being quiet and sweet.”
They think:
“You ruined dinner with canned cranberry sauce, and now you’re eating leftover pie for breakfast. I will not partake of this madness”.
Tree Anxiety Arrives Early
The Christmas tree isn’t even up yet, but your cat is already mentally preparing.
They’ve begun strength training (aka knocking things off tables).
They’re practicing climb-and-launch maneuvers off the back of the couch.
They’re sitting under the staircase plotting their eventual ornament-related crimes.
You think the chaos starts when the tree goes up. They’ve been preparing since Thanksgiving night.
Emotional Support? Absolutely Not.
Humans during this time are usually overwhelmed, broke, tired, and eating Cheetos directly from the bag.
Cats notice.
Cats do not care.
In fact, this is when they choose to:
– Sit directly on your laptop
– Meow at walls for no reason
– Demand food immediately after being fed
Because what you clearly need right now is more stress.
The Seasonal Nap Strategy
Cats go into full energy conservation mode.
They sleep:
On clean laundry
On wrapping paper
Inside boxes they do not fit inside
This isn’t laziness.
This is preparation.
They’re storing power like tiny, fluffy nuclear reactors for the day the Christmas finally goes in the stand.
Peak Judgment Season
Between Thanksgiving and Christmas, cats reach their most refined emotional state: pure, concentrated disappointment.
- They’ve watched you:
- Overeat
- Overspend
- Panic over gift lists
- Forget what day it is
And yet they still expect:
- Dinner on time
- Fresh water
- A clean litter box
- Respect and absolute obedience.
Which, frankly, is sorta valid.
Some trailing thoughts from your fur ball(s):
“While you collapse into holiday chaos, I will be here. Sitting in silent judgment. Knocking things over. Preparing for war with the tree. And reminding you daily that you are not in charge — I am.”
Honestly?
They’re not wrong.
Ah yes. That dreaded stretch between Thanksgiving leftovers and Christmas chaos has begun. While you grapple with eggnog, tangled lights, and existential dread, your cat is plotting. They prepare to sabotage ornaments and rearrange the tinsel (actually you shouldn’t be using tinsel – very dangerous for kitties), and determine how long it will take them to reach the top of the tree to get that shiny, dangly thing.
Use these holiday-ready cat-owner gifts from Snarky Cat Boutique to (maybe) earn a few points before the tree goes up.
Ball Caps (Christmas hats that say “I love holiday nonsense”)
Holiday Menace Ball Cap — Festive, blunt, and on sale; perfect for supervising chaotic wrapping while looking like you planned this chaos.
Santa’s Little Minion Ball Cap — For those helping (or enabling) questionable eggnog decisions.
Santa’s Poison Control Ball Cap — The hat for people whose holiday spirit is best expressed via sardonic headwear (sale price listed on the product page).
Where’s The Cookies Ball Cap — Practical and honest. Also: true holiday priorities.
Sip & Survive — Christmas Mugs
A ceramic mug with holiday sarcasm baked in. Ready to hold your cocoa, eggnog, or “I’m-still-awake” coffee.
We Wish You A Meowy Christmas Mug
Festive, cat-approved snark for your morning brew — or your “please-make-this-season-end” beverage.
Another sarcastic holiday mug for real cat lovers trying to maintain sanity.
Good for hot drinks, grim holiday truths, or plotting your cat’s revenge when they see the tree.
Tiles (snarky little displays for mantel, shelf, or cat-proof corners)
Jingle Whose Bells Tile — Ceramic, decorative, and aggressively festive in the most mellow way. (On sale on its product page.)
Meowy Christmas Tile — Small seasonal sass that won’t fight the cat for the tree.
Fa La La La Meow Tile — For the person who prefers carols with added cattitude.
Have A Holly Jolly Tile — Cute, sarcastic, and shelf-ready.
Haul & Hide — Christmas Totes
A tote bag sturdy enough for last-minute gift runs or smuggling snacks, perfect for the cynical cat parent.
Festive, functional, and cat-hair friendly. Ideal if you want your shopping bag to match your holiday attitude.
Because every cat knows the only true holiday tradition is sitting in cardboard boxes. Tote accordingly.
Good luck hiding it from your cat — because “shiny dangly things” are basically cat kryptonite.
Cheerful enough for holiday shopping, snarky enough for cat-owner life.
On a not so final note from fluffy…
“Buy the tote. Use the mug. Wear the hat. Put the tile on a high shelf. Then step away while I test the tree’s stability.” — Every cat. Probably. Ever.
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Snarky Cat Boutique – We put the meow in mayhem.
Ciao,
The Snarkiest Cat
Written for The Cat Whisperer Blog by Annie St. Germain, resident Cat Whisperer and chronicler at Snarky Cat Boutique. 🐾
