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Where whiskers meet mischief. Curated chaos, cat-approved.
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The Cats Have Notes
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Apparently, every decision made around here requires feline review...
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News, Notes & Nonsense From Mika, Koji, And Their Human
Welcome to the August edition of The Scratching Post Press, where the human continues making decisions and the cats continue explaining why those decisions are wrong.
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This month, I attempted to improve their litter, explored the mysterious world of pet communication, and once again contemplated the logistical nightmare of transporting two allegedly domesticated animals to the veterinarian.
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Mika responded with suspicion. Koji responded with the emotional resilience of a Victorian heroine near an open window. Both have requested that all future household decisions be submitted to management in writing—with supporting documentation and treats.
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I Spent over $200 So My Cats Could Tell Me To Piss Off
There are moments in every cat owner’s life when she looks at a perfectly functional household item and thinks, “I can improve this.” That was my first mistake.
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I decided the litter situation needed upgrading. After reading reviews, comparing ingredients, considering dust levels, tracking, odor control, texture, and apparently the phase of the moon, I brought home Dr. Elsey’s and World’s Best cat litter. By the time this grand experiment was over, I had spent somewhere in the neighborhood of $200.
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Koji approached the matter with cautious diplomacy. He inspected the new arrangements, tolerated certain aspects of them, and seemed willing to entertain negotiations. Mika took one look and issued a firm response on behalf of the Tortie Administration: absolutely the hell not.
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The lesson was not subtle. You can research. You can plan. You can spend. You can present your carefully considered improvement to the feline board—and they can still reject the proposal without reading page one.
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In related news. the original litter remains employed. My wallet has requested bereavement leave.
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♫ Podcast Spotlight
The Cats Are Talking. Whether We Understand Them Is Another Matter.
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The Cat Whisperer Blog Podcast continues its weekly run on YouTube, turning selected blog articles into audio stories for people who would rather listen while driving, knitting, cleaning, pretending to exercise, or sitting beneath a cat who has made movement impossible.
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August’s episodes have wandered into especially interesting territory: strong-willed female cats, the question of whether to hire a pet communicator, and the important distinction between keeping an open mind and handing your common sense to the first person who claims your cat was Cleopatra in a previous life.
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I believe cats communicate with us constantly. They use posture, expressions, routines, sounds, strategic staring, and the occasional object knocked deliberately onto the floor. Whether something more is happening is an interesting question—but curiosity does not require gullibility.
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Mika’s official position: “I have been perfectly clear. The communication problem is yours.”
Koji’s official position: “Please stop discussing me with strangers.”
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Handmade Spotlight
Hand Crocheted by Annie. Inspected by Kitty Butt.
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Every cat rest blanket begins with carefully selected 100% cotton yarn, plenty of measuring, re-measuring, and re-re-measuring, and ends with a mandatory feline quality-control inspection.
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Mika checks for proper sitting texture. Koji confirms whether it provides adequate support for prolonged human supervision.
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Handmade for cats who require comfort—and humans who understand the approval process.
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If you support an independent maker, THANK YOU. You are not merely buying an object. You are supporting the person who designed it, made it, photographed it, described it, packed it—and lint-rolled cat hair from it at least three separate times.
Thank you so much for your support. Every purchase encourages another day of creating.
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☑ Cat Supervisor Incident Report
Management Meeting Minutes
Mika: Rejected the proposed litter transition without negotiation, compromise, or even the basic courtesy of pretending to consider it.
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Koji: Conducted a cautious inspection, briefly tolerated the situation, and then declined further comment pending legal representation.
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Veterinary Transportation Committee: Remains deadlocked. Mika is nervous but generally cooperative. Koji has classified the carrier as an instrument of state-sponsored oppression.
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Pet Communication Department: Reports that the cats have always communicated perfectly well. The human is simply a little slow on the uptake.
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Human performance review: Spends recklessly. Means well. Treat distribution remains inconsistent.
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Around The Studio
I make things. The Cats Take Credit
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August has been busy in the best, messiest possible way. The weekly Cat Whisperer Blog continues serving up cat behavior, real-life stories, practical information, and the occasional necessary rant. The podcast gives those stories a second life on YouTube, complete with narration and a cast of familiar feline faces.
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Behind the scenes, there are always new handmade projects taking shape, product photographs being wrangled, shop listings being polished, and social posts being created for platforms that each seem to have invented their own peculiar set of rules.
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In other words: the sewing machine is humming, the microphones are working, the coffee is doing its level best, and management remains unavailable for anything that conflicts with the nap schedule.
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So many ideas, so little time...
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✧ Currently at Snarky Cat Headquarters
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On the blog: New Cat Whisperer stories every week—honest, helpful, cat-centric, and never excessively reverent about the human condition.
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On YouTube: Weekly audio-blog podcast episodes for listeners who enjoy their cat information with a healthy side of attitude.
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In the shop: Handmade creations, more mugs, more totes, and cat-themed gifts designed for people who know who really runs the household.
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In management: Mika remains Director of Immediate Objections. Koji continues as Head of Perimeter Security and Emotional Attachment.
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Until Next Month...
May your expensive improvements go unchallenged, your cats enter their carriers voluntarily, and every mysterious noise at 3:00 a.m. turn out to be something that does not require cleanup.
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Thank you for reading, listening, visiting the shop, and following along as Mika, Koji, and I continue operating this tiny creative empire under highly questionable management.
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Whether you stop by for the blog, listen to the podcast, browse the latest creations, or simply enjoy watching the cats pass judgment on everything I do, I truly appreciate having you here.
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and, the Fabulous Felines - Mika and Koji 🐾
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Written for The Cat Whisperer Blog by Annie St. Germain, Editor-in-Chief, The Scratching Post Press, and resident Cat Whisperer and chronicler at Snarky Cat Boutique.
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(assisted by Mika, monitored by Koji, and authorized by absolutely no one) ❤️🐾
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The Latest from The Cat Whisperer Blog
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The Great Litter Rebellion: I Spent $200 So My Cats Could Tell Me to Piss Off
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A true story of good intentions, expensive cat litter, and two feline quality-control inspectors who were not consulted. It Seemed Like a Perfectly Reasonable Idea Every once in a while, I get one of those ideas that sounds sensible, responsible and downright enlightened. This should have been my first warning. This week's brilliant idea was to switch Mika and Koji …
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NEWS FLASH: Cats Still Expect Premium Dining During Economic Collapse
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Featuring observations from Mika, Koji, and the increasingly alarmed human. Walk down the pet food aisle these days (or surf the pet food stores on line) and you may find yourself checking the price tag twice. Then a third time. Then wondering whether the bag secretly contains tiny flakes of edible gold. Pet food prices have been climbing steadily for …
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Snarky Cat Boutique • The Cat Whisperer Blog • The Cat Whisperer Blog Podcast
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