Ah, Thanksgiving. A glorious few days where humans scurry around carving turkeys, stuffing their faces, and pretending they’re grateful, while your cat sits back, judges your gravy choices, and waits for the leftovers to hit the floor.
Welcome to the week after Thanksgiving. Where humans sleep off their food comas and cats reclaim their throne. 👑
But now? Now that the chaos has died down, the trays are dirty (or already molded over), and the guests have finally fled — that’s when the real post-Turkey takeover begins. Because in the week after Thanksgiving, the humans are distracted, full, and fragile. And the cats know it.
Leftover Turkeys: The Great Case of Identity Theft
You think leftovers are for you? Cute.
- Every plate, every shred of turkey, every rogue cranberry sauce blob becomes a coveted artifact of “human weakness.” Your cat saunters past the kitchen like they own the place — because, well, they do — and demands (with those eyes that scream “feed me or regret it”) a taste of your haul.
- Leftover-tour de fridge? Expect paw-prints on every container and that “innocent” look when you catch them mid-swipe. They act like, “What? I thought this was for me.” And honestly, maybe it is.
- Bonus: If you left any food near the edge of the counter, congratulations — you’ve created the ultimate buffet for the house overlord.
The “Nap-and-Plot” Phase
Humans are exhausted. The couch is calling. The blankets are warm.
- Your cat? Already two steps ahead. They claim the comfiest spot — yes, even that one you just vacated — and curl up for what amounts to a full-on strategic nap. We’re talking deep plot-hatching nap.
- While you’re still digesting way too much pie, your cat is busy re-establishing dominance in the living room. You might think you rule the house, but they’ve been quietly reassigning couch real estate, prime window spots, and the sunbeam schedule while you were busy scraping cranberry bits off your socks.
Black Friday? More Like “Black Cat Friday: Hide Your Shit Edition”
- Crazy humans may have splurged on cat toys and obnoxious novelty mugs during Black Friday. Meanwhile, your cat’s entire mission for the week is “Disappear all the newly acquired hoohahs until the humans forget where they put them.”
- Lost socks, misplaced coffee mugs, vanishing yarn balls — that’s not sloppy human behavior. That’s feline sabotage. Because nothing fuels a cat’s ego like watching you scramble to find that useless “paw-print coffee coaster” you thought was essential.
Remember to shag on over to the Store and check out the latest and greatest snarky cat holiday themed products at Snarky Cat Boutique. The cat person in your life will love them.
“Fa-la-la-la-Meow Tile — Our cheeky ceramic tile is the perfect tiny rebellion against insufferable holiday cheer. Hang it in the kitchen, prop it on the mantel, or use it as an emergency coaster when Aunt Linda insists on leaving mashed-potato stains. Dishwasher-friendly sarcasm guaranteed.
“Christmas Treats Mug — Sarcastic, and microwave-safe. Ideal for mulled wine, coffee, or the special eggnog that grandma insists is ‘traditional.’ Makes a great stocking stuffer for the cat person who already has everything except common sense.
“Twinkle Twinkle Little Meow Tote: This roomy canvas tote carries gifts, groceries, grudges, and, occasionally, a small offended cat. Reinforced seams mean it’ll survive Black Friday, Cyber Monday, and your attempt to pretend you ‘already decorated.
“Santa’s Poison Control Ball Cap: because nobody will ask if you’re wearing a costume — they’ll just assume you’re a better parent to your cat than you are to your houseplants.”
Reflection & Judgment: Who Was Good, Who Was Worthy
- Thanksgiving might have been your chance to show gratitude. But don’t delude yourself. Your cat sat there, simmering. Every dish you stacked, every crumb you let fall — they cataloged it.
- The week after Thanksgiving isn’t about giving thanks anymore. It’s about auditing your “human competence.” Did you clean up after yourself? Did you forget the gravy under the couch cushion? Did you leave half-eaten pie unattended? Time for the kitty review board.
Time to Reinforce the Status Quo (With Merch. Because of course.)
If the past week proved anything, it’s that humans need reminders. Reminders that cats rule, humans clean, humans pay, cats judge.
- That sad little “Give Thanks” tile you bought for the dining room? Might want to replace it with a “Nap, Scratch, Ignore” tile — for accuracy.
- That tote bag with the festive turkey and leaves? Yeah, toss it. Get something that says “You’re lucky I let you live here,” maybe with a side-eyeing cat graphic.
Because in this post-Thanksgiving wasteland of leftovers, tired humans, and holiday haze — only one thing remains certain: the cats have re-established dominion. And they’ll never let you forget it.
Want more kitty snark delivered straight to your inbox like a cat hairball on your pillow? Sign up for my monthly-ish newsletter – The Scratching Post Press
Snarky Cat Boutique – We put the meow in mayhem.
Ciao,
The Snarkiest Cat
Written for The Cat Whisperer Blog by Annie St. Germain, resident Cat Whisperer and chronicler at Snarky Cat Boutique. 🐾
