Ah, Thanksgiving. A glorious day of overeating, questionable side dishes, and relatives who think they’re hilarious.
But have you ever wondered what your cat thinks about all this? Spoiler: it’s not gratitude.
Let’s dive into the fluffy little brain of your feline as you prepare for the loudest, smelliest, weirdest day of the year.
“Why Does the House Smell Like a Giant Chicken?”
Your cat wakes up on Thanksgiving morning, takes one sniff of the air, and immediately assumes:
- You’re cooking a giant prey animal but won’t share it.
- The smoke alarm is going to scream at any moment.
- Today is chaos and therefore beneath them.
To a cat, your roasting turkey is basically a monstrous, simmering, but unavailable snack. Which, frankly, is rude.
You’ll catch your feline giving the oven a long, judgmental stare as if to say: “Open it, coward.”
The Commotion: AKA ‘Why Are So Many Peasants in My Kingdom?’
- Guests arrive.
- The doorbell rings.
- Someone inevitably shouts, “Ooh, a kitty!” in the world’s most horrifying baby voice.
Meanwhile, your cat is processing the situation like a seasoned monarch under siege:
- Suspicious Stranger Check: Do they smell like other cats? Dogs? Children? Disappointment?
- Escape Route Evaluation: If I bolt under the bed now, will anyone see me?
- Window Vigil: Time to flatten myself behind the curtains and pretend none of you exist.
Thanksgiving is basically a loud, foot-trafficky nightmare for many cats. They don’t like unexpected noise, random humans, or anyone sitting in their favorite chair without permission. Which is, unfortunately, everyone at Thanksgiving.
Kitty’s Internal Monologue Throughout the Feast
You: “Please don’t jump on the table.”
Cat: “I do what I want, carbohydrate beast.”
You: “No, you can’t have turkey bones.”
Cat: “You eat literal trash sometimes and I’M the one who can’t be trusted?”
You: “Stop climbing in the dessert cooling rack!”
Cat: “If you didn’t want me up here, you shouldn’t have put the pies in MY airspace.”
By dessert time, your cat is convinced:
- The mashed potatoes pose no threat and should be stepped in.
- The turkey carcass is rightfully theirs.
- Everyone is far too impressed with the pumpkin pie and not impressed enough with them.
The After-Dinner Lull (AKA the Only Part Cats Approve Of)
Finally, the humans shut up.
People begin falling asleep on couches like tranquilized manatees.
The kitchen is quiet.
Your cat emerges from their hiding spot.
They do a perimeter check, sniff around, and maybe, just maybe, grace someone’s lap with their presence. (Temporarily. Do not get excited.)
This is their chance to:
- Bat at stray green beans
- Knock over abandoned cups
- Inspect the turkey leftovers with the intensity of a forensic pathologist
It’s their time to shine.
How to Keep Kitty Safe & Comfortable During Thanksgiving
Because while your cat might be a snarky, entitled gremlin… they’re your snarky, entitled gremlin. Make sure you follow these steps to a “T”.
- Create a Retreat Room
A quiet place with:
- Their bed
- Fresh water
- Litter box
- Zero screaming relatives
Let guests know it’s the “Absolutely Do Not Enter” zone.
- Secure the Food (Unless You Want Chaos)
Turkey bones? Nope.
Onion-garlic stuffing? Toxic.
Chocolate pie? Big nope.
Alcohol? Your cat already acts drunk enough.
Keep temptations out of paw-range unless you want to explain to the vet how your cat ate half a crescent roll in one unbroken bite.
- Manage the Door Dashers
Thanksgiving = doors opening constantly.
Cats = tiny escape artists with big dreams.
Consider:
- Baby gates
- Reminder signs
- Putting kitty in their retreat room during the busiest entry/exit chaos
- Give Them Their Own Treat
A tiny bit of plain cooked turkey?
Acceptable. Appreciated.
Will it buy you affection?
No. But they’ll begrudgingly accept your offering.
- Normalize the Noise
Soft music, white noise, or a TV in their hideaway room helps drown out the sound of Uncle Bob describing his cryptocurrency portfolio.
And finally…
What Cats Are REALLY Thankful For?
At the end of the day, here’s what your cat is grateful for:
- Their warm bed (or your lap)
- Their clean litter box
- That you haven’t forgotten their dinner (yet)
- That the guests finally left
- And most importantly… That they run the household and you continue to behave like the reasonably competent but easily manipulated servant they require.
Happy Thanksgiving from your feline overlord.
May your turkey be moist, your house remain intact, and your cat allow you to live another day.
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Snarky Cat Boutique – We put the meow in mayhem.
Ciao,
Written for The Cat Whisperer Blog by Annie St. Germain, resident Cat Whisperer and chronicler at Snarky Cat Boutique. 🐾
