Category: Feline Behavior

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Valentine’s Day: Feline Observations – We Are Not Impressed (as usual)

The humans have decided it’s a “new year,” which apparently means rearranging the same problems into a fresh planner and calling it growth. From our perspective, nothing has changed except you’re louder about it and temporarily convinced you’ll stop eating snacks in bed.

We noticed the midnight countdown. We also noticed you woke us up for it. This has been logged. Permanently.

What Cats Are Actually Looking Forward To

We’re not manifesting. We’re monitoring.

Here’s what we expect in the coming year:

  • More naps, especially on your laptop, your clean laundry, and any surface you clearly need.
  • An increase in premium treats because “times are stressful” (you said it, not us).
  • New merch that we ignore for exactly 48 hours before deciding they’re acceptable.
    (Hint: if it comes from Snarky Cat Boutique and looks vaguely sarcastic, we’ll respect it sooner.)
  • You giving up your resolutions, freeing up emotional bandwidth for more petting.

Also, let’s address the economy: if you’re tightening your budget, perhaps stop buying planners and start investing in things that actually matter—like cat-themed goodies that publicly announces your loyalty. You know. For morale.

Valentine’s Day: A Holiday That Is Not About You (But You’ll Pretend It Is)

Valentine’s Day is approaching, and once again humans will confuse love with clutter.

There will be flowers (illegal snacks), chocolate (rude-smelling, non-shareable), and candles (suspicious fire). Meanwhile, we will be expected to “move” so you can have a romantic moment. No.

If you insist on celebrating love, may we suggest honoring the relationship that actually shows up every day? The one that screams at you until you feed it. The one that stares unblinkingly into your soul while you cry-watch television.

This is also an excellent time to gift yourself something tasteful, cozy, and cat-centric—perhaps a snarky tote or mug that lets the world know you’re spoken for, and that someone sheds on everything you own.

A Gentle Reminder as the Year Stumbles Forward

As you move into the new year, chasing goals and “self-improvement,” remember that cats perfected existence thousands of years ago:

  • Eat when food appears.
  • Sleep whenever possible.
  • Demand affection, then reject it.
  • Maintain eye contact while pushing things off tables.

If you’re looking for guidance this year, look down. We’re already judging you—and honestly, we have great taste.

Happy Meowingtine’s Day Humans.

Now open the treat drawer.

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Snarky Cat Boutique – We put the meow in mayhem.

Ciao,

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Your Cat After the Holidays: Overfed, Overstimulated, and Deeply Judging this “Fresh Start”

A fresh start? Please…

Yes, the holidays are finally over.

From your cat’s perspective, the stretch between Thanksgiving and New Year’s is not “festive.” It’s a three-act endurance trial featuring strange humans, disrupted routines, and an alarming increase in scented candles.

Let’s break it down.

Thanksgiving: The Great False Hope

Thanksgiving begins with promise.

So. Much. Food.

Your cat spends the day stationed strategically near the kitchen, fully convinced that this is the year they are finally acknowledged as an equal participant in the feast. Turkey is cooked. Turkey is carved. Turkey is passed around.

Turkey is not offered.

Instead, your cat is shooed away for “being underfoot” while you eat until you can’t breathe and then lie on the couch like a Victorian fainting patient.

Your cat takes notes.
Your cat does not forget.

Christmas: Chaos, but Make It Loud

Christmas arrives like a glitter-covered home invasion.

Suddenly the house smells like pine, cinnamon, and unmet expectations. Furniture is rearranged. There is a tree indoors (suspicious). It blinks. It sheds. It dares to exist without permission.

Guests arrive. Some respect cats. Many do not.

Your cat is picked up incorrectly. Touched without consent. Photographed relentlessly for social media clout. There is wrapping paper everywhere—briefly delightful—until someone ruins it by throwing it away “for safety.”

And let’s not forget the gifts.
Boxes appear. Boxes are claimed. Boxes are removed.
This betrayal cuts deep.

New Year’s Eve: Betrayal With Fireworks

Just when your cat thinks things are calming down, you decide to end the year by screaming at midnight.

There are loud noises. There are fireworks. There is inexplicable cheering.

Your cat, who has been asleep since 7:43 p.m., is awakened by what they assume is the apocalypse. They spend the evening under the bed, drafting their will and reevaluating their decision to live with you.

You toast “new beginnings.”
Your cat plots survival.

New Year’s Resolutions: The Audacity

Then January hits.

You announce resolutions.

You’re going to eat better.
Exercise more.
Declutter.
“Get your life together.”

Your cat watches this unfold with the calm confidence of someone who knows you will abandon this plan by February.

You buy new food. You rearrange the schedule. You attempt morning workouts that interfere with breakfast time. You suggest diet changes.

Absolutely not.

Your cat does not believe in self-improvement. Your cat believes in consistency, naps, and being fed on time regardless of your personal growth journey.

If your resolution interferes with any of those things, it will be sabotaged.

Just Another Year, Apparently

By mid-January, the decorations are gone. The guests have left. The fireworks have stopped. The house returns to its normal, acceptable level of predictability.

Your cat resumes their routine:

  • Sleep
  • Eat
  • Judge
  • Repeat

Another year stretches ahead, and while you’re busy setting goals and “turning the page,” your cat has already mastered the art of simply existing—with boundaries.

Maybe that’s the real lesson.

Or maybe your cat just wants you to stop talking about resolutions and refill the bowl.

Either way, welcome to the new year.

My cats resolutions? “More naps. Less humans.”🐾

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Snarky Cat Boutique — Observing Humanity Through a Cats Eyes.

Ciao,

 

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The Forgotten Weeks: How Cats Survive the Emotional Chaos Between Thanksgiving and Christmas

It’s magical. It’s chaotic. The week after Thanksgiving and the week before the week before Christmas. Humans call it “the holiday season.” Cats call it “The Great Christmas Tree Climb.” Continue reading The Forgotten Weeks: How Cats Survive the Emotional Chaos Between Thanksgiving and Christmas

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What Cats Really Think About Thanksgiving: A Holiday Survival Guide (For Cats and Humans)

Ah, Thanksgiving. A glorious day of overeating, questionable side dishes, and relatives who think they’re hilarious.
But have you ever wondered what your cat thinks about all this? Spoiler: it’s not gratitude. Continue reading What Cats Really Think About Thanksgiving: A Holiday Survival Guide (For Cats and Humans)

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How Cats Really Feel About Halloween (Hint: They Hate You)

Ah, Halloween. That magical time of year when humans lose all sense of dignity and start draping themselves in plastic capes, glitter, and things with the texture of a cheap wig found in a party store clearance bin. Continue reading How Cats Really Feel About Halloween (Hint: They Hate You)